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Why I Never Make New Year’s Resolutions, Except for 2019

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Why I Never Make New Year’s Resolutions, Except for 2019

2019

First, let me start off by wishing you the absolute best, and juiciest, for 2019. May you uncover the best of who you are every year, every day, and every second. Now… about New Year’s resolutions…

Maybe you, like many fellow humans, like to start off the new year with a resolution. Self-improvement initiatives–such as weight loss or drinking more water–figure high on the lists of many.

But, I admit, I am so not into resolutions. I feel like this: If there’s something I need to do (exercise more, be a better human being, breathe deeply more often, etc), it shouldn’t wait until the first day of the next year. I just woman-up and do it right away.

So, why New Year’s resolutions in 2019?

The things that I’ve been wanting to do more of are still on my radar (where they’ve been for the past 6 months), and it just happens to be the new year. So for the first time in forever, I find myself with two resolutions on New Year’s day. They are — ahem, drumroll, please…

  1. New Years Resolution #1 – Salsa dance at least once a month. I shock myself when I think about the fact that it’s been two friggin years since I salsa danced. Like, seriously. Whhhaaaaat??? Dancing in general is something I need to do, and for years salsa has been (or at least was) the way to get my dance fix on. There will be no excuses. I must get my salsa on starting this month, or I will IMPLODE.
  2. New Years Resolution #2 – Take a yoga class once a week. At one point in my life (before marriage and pregnancy), I took a power yoga class at least 3 times a week. Now, I’m lucky if I follow a 30-minute yoga video once a month. But I really want to–would love to–experience the delicious immersion of a good, sweaty yoga class. Again, there will be no more excuses. I WILL make the time.

And there it is. Making the time. That’s really what my resolution is.

This year, I am going to expand on what I started in 2018 — making time to pursue the passions that I used to take for granted, the passions that power my internal engine, and bring energy and joy into my daily life.

In 2018, I started painting again after having not picked up a paint brush in over a decade. It felt awesome to explore color and texture in oil, one of my favorite things to do. But it was also something I’d stopped making time for. Here’s a picture of me, in November 2018, painting in the studio:

Ife Oshun painting in studio

I made a resolution to take a day out of my week every day for 8 weeks to focus on painting. At times it was super difficult because there was a lot going on with work and responsibilities, and there were a couple of times when I relented and let the responsibilities (aka making money) encroach on the allotted painting time.

But, I kept reminding myself that painting was a responsibility, too. Taking time to do something I love, regardless of whether it generated income or not, is a responsibility I have to myself. It was part of my resolution to make time to do things I enjoy — more often.

Along with painting, there were some other things I started doing in 2018:

  • 30+ pushups a day
  • Isolation and toning exercises twice a day (first thing in the morning and last thing before zonking out).
  • 20 minutes of cardio at least 3 times a week

Yep, you guessed it: My focus has expanded to include making time to get back to my ideal level of physical fitness. I’m proud of sticking to that commitment to myself–especially when I don’t feel like it (which is often).

So salsa and yoga class, like painting, will be things I purposely make time for. I’ve been putting it out into the Universe for months now, and it’s going down in January.

At the end of the day (and whether the day is in 2019, 2018, or whenever) making time for my joy is crucial to the most important resolution of all — staying in a state of bliss. Feeling good is the goal, taking time for myself without guilt, breathing deeply along the way, smiling on the inside as well as the outside, and loving life with all the eagerness I can muster is the M.O. So let it be, and so it is!

Live your dreams, and make time for your passions! 

Royal Family Portrait With Ancestor (aka Diana Aglow)

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Royal Family Portrait With Ancestor (aka Diana Aglow)

Royal Family Portrait With Ancestor (aka Diana Aglow) Ife Oshun's artistic interpretation of official royal wedding photo

Credit: Alexi Lubomirski (with added imagery)

Like an estimated 29 million people, I, too, was mesmerized by the royal wedding of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle. I rejoiced in their delicious love story, arose at 5 A.M. EST to view the broadcast live, and devoured, along with tea and cinnamon babka, every second of the event. When they released the official royal photographs, I again fell in love, this time with the joy that rippled over the faces of the family members.

But then my eye was drawn to the portrait’s right side. Next to William there was, at least in my mind, a gap.

An official royal wedding photo with empty space highlighted

Credit: Alexi Lubomirski

The space above the five children on the right struck my painter’s eye as asymmetrical. As soon as my mind made that realization, a memory intruded into my heart with a gentle rush…

Many years ago, a few days after my mother made her transition (kicked the bucket in other words), she visited me. I’d fallen asleep wondering when she would come. My mom was a medium, and I grew up with the knowledge that the so-called spirit world is just another aspect of an existence we take for granted. I knew it was just a matter of time before she would come a’calling.

And come a’calling she did.

Mom was aglow–blinding/vibrant/electric–alive in a way I could barely process. Unrecognizable, yet familiar to the core. She’d come to soothe me–to let me know she was okay, and that I, despite my grief, was okay, too.

But she knows me well.

Of the two of us, I have always been the more practical. So, in order to address the cynic in me, she left me a sign in “real” life. A testament, so to speak… The next morning, I stepped out onto my patio, and saw it. It was so strange, it felt right.

A single, yellow flower had sprouted out of one of the many plant pots. Although it was in full bloom, it hadn’t been there the day before–in fact there had been zero trace of anything about to emerge from below the surface of the soil. The time of year defied flowers shooting up from the dirt; we were in Los Angeles, the season wasn’t right.

I nor my roommate had even planted it.

But there it was–a buttercup. And I knew immediately–felt it in every atom, every cell–that the flower was my mom’s way of saying “See? I’m still very much a part of your “real” life.”

When she walked this earth she used to call me Buttercup.

So, when I saw the gap in the royal family portrait, I immediately recalled my mom’s visit and her lesson: that our ancestors are with us every step of the way. They rejoice when we rejoice, and support us in every stage of life. That’s why, when the big things happen–births, deaths, marriages–we keenly feel their presence. It’s as if the event’s emotional intensity peels away resistance, and we finally allow ourselves to feel our ancestors standing next to, with us, and for us–lovingly, patiently, and unconditionally.

I will never forget that lesson.

And that’s why, after I observed the gap, and felt that rush, I added what seemed to be missing–Diana aglow, reminding us that she was there, a mother standing with her family, sharing in their joy, rejoicing in their love. She reminds us that the real life business of taking a wedding picture could easily be a reflection on the reality of the eternal nature of Love. That those who have come before, those who are here, and those who have yet to come are all one along this brilliant continuum called Love.

Perhaps Alexi Lubomirski, as he composed this portrait, instinctively heeded the invitation to make space, to allow a visual void to just be.

Either way, I love that gap, and would love to turn Royal Family Portrait With Ancestor (aka Diana Aglow) into a painting. Perhaps, someday, I will…

And, perhaps, if one looks closer at the gap just in front of the Queen’s feet, one might see Harry and Meghan’s first child, aglow as well, beaming happily at the camera.